Teoria do vazio

De cada vez que a bola chega ao Yannick Djaló, pode acontecer uma de duas coisas:

1. Nada;

2. Nada, com desvio e golo.

Desde que o Derlei se lesionou no início da época, que o Paulo Bento está convencido que a segunda hipótese é mais provável que a primeira.

Sepóóóting!

Aquela segunda parte, com cinco golos do Sporting em 25 minutos, incluindo dois do Yannick — mais precisamente um golo e um golo-desvio — e um outro do Derlei que não jogava há sete meses, está probabilisticamente ao mesmo nível da formação de buracos-negros com efeitos catastróficos no LHC. Mas são eventos deste tipo que ajudam um tipo a argumentar perante o filho que o Sporting é o melhor clube do mundo.

Éter

Luis Figo, ao Small Talk [obrigado, Hugo].

Hello Luis, how are you?
Fine thanks, Small Talk.

Let’s start with an easy one. What was your greatest ever performance?
Winning the Ballon d’Or in 2000.

And your best goal?
The one against England at Euro 2000.

Sorry, doesn’t ring any bells. Who was the best player you ever played with or against?
Zidane, Rivaldo or Ronaldo, I guess.

And your biggest footballing regret?
Being involved in some situations or actions which were not fair.

Intriguing. Care to elaborate?
[Question inexplicably gets lost in the ether between Small Talk and Figo]

Right, who’ll win this season’s Champions League?
Chelsea.

Intriguing. Care to elaborate?
[Question inexplicably gets lost in the ether between Small Talk and Figo]

OK Luis, what people really want to know is this: what’s your favourite song?
Be Without You by Mary J Blige.

Do you play any musical instruments?
No.

O … K … do you collect toy trains?
Erm, no. I collect watches and paintings.

Of course. What’s your poison, Luis?
Sprite.

Assuming that you also like a bit of the booze from time to time, what’s the silliest thing you’ve ever done while drunk?
I don’t recall ever being drunk.

Indeed. What would you lock in Room 101?
Tuberculosis, which kills more than 1.5 million people a year even though it can be treated.

A fine choice, Luis. By the way, one thing Small Talk’s always wanted to ask you is … who would win a fight between a lion and a tiger?
Er, the lion. He’s the king of the jungle.

What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
That I was going to die.

Sad to say, that’s going to come true some day. So to lighten thigns up, how about you tell us a joke?
OK, here’s one in Portuguese: Porque é que os alentejanos vestem o pijama quando andam de mota? (Why do the good folk of Alenta [who in Portugal have a reputation for being laid back to the point of laziness] wear pyjamas when riding motorbikes?)

I don’t know, why do os alentejanos vestem o pijama quando andam de mota?
É para quando fazem as curvas se poderem deitar nelas (So that they can lie down in to corners)

Luis, that is undoubtedly the best joke Small Talk has ever been told. In Portuguese. Obrigado and goodbye.
Bye Small Talk.

Not for sale

Há fotografias que ficam muito bem aqui

A minha primeira ida ao Alvalade XXI poderia ter corrido melhor. Bastava o Sporting ter jogado bem e a Mariana referido que teria sido boa ideia levar headphones. É certo que o estádio é bonito e o cartão de leão, os écrans gigantes, as cheerleaders e as chuteiras do Miguel Veloso lhe dão um toque moderno-kitsch, que é o que se pretende. Mas nem no peão da superior sul do estádio do Vitória de Setúbal, em plena crise social e económica dos anos 80, se ouviam coisas assim.